Blog Comments Week 12

I commented on Kolin's blog:
https://kolin-english1.blogspot.com/2016/12/the-writing-center.html?showComment=1481554364704#c5894440924045346529

I commented on Mackenzie R's blog:
https://maksbleach.blogspot.com/2016/12/spootify.html?showComment=1481554519042#c1745782759030819291

I commenetd on Laura's blog:
https://stephcurryftw.blogspot.com/2016/12/writing-center-reflection.html?showComment=1481554643555#c1261910093001406159

The Progress in the Writing Center

My writing fellow and I worked on mostly embedding, which meant it took up half an hour. He showed me how to write up embedded sentences, so he was a big help. We also worked on how to make a conclusion, which was also a good idea. This was a good idea since I barely knew how to write an ending paragraph. I also lost a chunk of my points due to my other poor written conclusions in the past. It was nice though to have someone like him around. Him helping me with everything was great.

My progress was re-writing entire paragraphs and making them make sense. The I had to put sentences in the end of each paragraph to link my words to the thesis. My paper is now more like a C+ than a flat out F. I still hope to reach A level, though. That way I can assure myself that I can make sufficient literary analyses.

What I believe in achieving

Sa'Veon:  Do you set your goals according to what you to want to achieve or according to what you think you are capable of achieving?

I think about what I want to achieve because I want to have high goals and become a better person. If I am a better person, I can be a role model for the next generation of freshman. People always look up to others but never have the courage to work up to that level. Most people would sulk about never being that person or being stuck as the person they are. So in order to break the cycle, I believe it is best for me and maybe others to start working towards bigger goals and achieve them. 

Blog Comments Week 11

I commented on Caroline's Blog:
https://caroline-english1.blogspot.com/2016/12/literary-analysis-process.html?showComment=1480948348814

I commented on Sarah C's Blog:
https://sarahcenglish1.blogspot.com/2016/12/what-i-love-about-christnas.html?showComment=1480948464791#c8427178891131435237

I commented on Anna's blog:
https://annakweb.blogspot.com/2016/12/december.html?showComment=1480948701056#c4964203948555793911

Sister Location pt. 4

Your fourth night starts, and you are in the room similar to the FNAF 3 game. You try to induce a shock to Funtime Foxy, but nothing happens. This is interesting because the shock always works. You shrug and crawl through the front vent. You suddenly find yourself in front of Circus Baby herself, but you then notice that she is deactivated. The speaker from above says that she was deactivated for an unknown reason, and she has to be safely tied to the conveyor. The speaker suddenly fizzes out, and Baby starts to speak. She says that she is trying not to move to trigger the cameras. Baby then says that something bad happened last night and that she wants you to fix her. Baby's going to be taken to the scooping room, and that only the bad things will stay behind to haunt you.

You press multiple buttons to her instructions. She then says that Ballora is with both of us in the room and that you must hurry to escape. Baby tells you to hurry to the Scooping room, a place to where Ballora will not follow you. When you came to inside the Scooping room, though, the speaker above is warning you to get out up there. But then the voice once again fizzes out, and a light comes on in the room. You see the exoskeletons of all the animatronics in the Sister Location, including Baby. You then see an unknown animatronic come towards you and it starts to speaks, sounding just like Baby. The unknown animatronics is known as Ennard, and he was made out of the other animatronics. He wanted to go to the outside world, but he needed to hide under human skin. That's why he led you into the room so he can get you get to set him free. Ennard pushes a button, and the scooper comes down, killing you in a blood shower. And that is the Bad end of Sister Location.

The Hardships of my literary analysis

I believe that find the right thesis and connecting it with the points I found were the hardest tasks for me. When it comes to finding a thesis in general, I usually blank out. I always look to others to help me in this part of writing a paper. Luckily, I remembered something from history class, so I wrote down that as my thesis. Another hardship was filling up the pages with meaningful words. Organization was my thing, so it worked out well in the end. What was easy for me though was finding the points. Since my thesis is society based I had a few things in mind. The book clearly helped me throughout the process of writing my draft, but I out needed bigger vocab words to fit in my essay. Due to this, I ended up using the dictionary. My advice to the people reading this blog to trying and reach out the people reading your paper, to give them something interesting to relate to. That's way I made a society based paper, so that the people and I can be on the same basis.